I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
