I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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