if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
