Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My vagina is officially offended.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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