Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Houston, we have a blender
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
