Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
