I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
