David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
