Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
