just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
