Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
