Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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