What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize