I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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