You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
