Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
