Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
