We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
