elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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