He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
