sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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