I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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