do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
