it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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