Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
