so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
