i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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