is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
