I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it was like eating out sand paper
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
