if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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