Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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