What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize