Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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