Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
smell my finger.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We don't watch enough power rangers
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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