Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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