Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
