It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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