Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think my vagina is haunted
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
