Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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