just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
