so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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