none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
