He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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