Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize