i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize