Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
