PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
