Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize