After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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