Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
