so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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