dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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