Jerry, you need to find god
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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