its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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