Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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