I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
