Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
id be glad to
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
