You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
