Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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