chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
