if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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