Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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