Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
