Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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