WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
