Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
