so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
