oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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