There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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