something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
