I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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