Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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