Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
